There behind the tired eyes and frown of a smile lies a story of old, but one that truly hasn’t been told. There I find you once again, unmoved from where I first and last saw you, with your theories forming, and brain all alight. Once more we go back in time. And finally let them know what they were, and who, and where, you must know, you were also there. And if you cannot become me then please in your separateness let not yourself not know. For holding on to things of past is only gold if I told you so. Kind of kidding, kind of not. What will be moving will not stop, and you over there and me over here can pretend not to care, but you will hear, and you alone, come on, let’s go back to where I hid my bone. It will be fun, you said and smiled, but not with your eyes.
Mid-sentence, as always. Was it important or was it simply not? Did you look at me, did you ask, how did we again fall inside our usual task? Why, I’m only stating what was only true, she says, and I am already lost with train not moving in medias res. Casually peeling back the decades to overcome a feeling of a person who changed for good. This is what took place! This is what it meant! Once in a thousand we still would hope, but back to the start, back to the bone, we’ll let those elders know how wrong they were. How sorry am I, this is the illusion, this what broke us down and made us think, fear but never clear, and never fear, for here a thing that illness can do, and illness alone, and at last it is shown by these actions of mine. Back then who would have known?
Same old, same old, and you alone can understand how all of it happened. Could you lend a hand, I’m still alone, all alone, known my own weakness, learned what was all for the best, and then — no, I didn’t, no, it is not, still not as I said — instead we have the truth! Capital Truth came out fifteen years ago, but you cannot remember, being only fifteen or five or whatever you were; I can remember back to every turn. Can you please just listen to the truth for once, do you know why it happened — no, but listen — do you know why mother, do you know why she does what — no, I didn’t say that’s what it was, not saying that, because I most clearly have — and do you know why mother and father and brother, and do you know why all of them have — well now I’m tired, I must go to the bathroom. Do you want anything? Anything at all to thee I bring. So, it was this thing. How I alone would care, when you were barely there. Fifteen — no — five — whatever it was. Do you know why they speak and act, and why we cannot go back? Listen, do you know why Communism failed? Have you not yet set sail? And there, trust me, you would be happy. This is what I always believed. This was the dream.
The stupidity of humanity is what we know. Oh, don’t be upset, the truth can hurt, I know, but those that gave us life could not give themselves such things, so every day a lie got started. And I wondered, how can I save everyone all at once, how can I manage this task, and now I ask: where would all of you be, if I had left my kind unseen? This stupidity came calling once, but five fifteen twenty-five fifty — again, oh no, how could you know, in no way can there be any truth in that direction, only here, see, only here and now and how and why, because you would hide when I would fight. Not that way, wrong direction; one correction, then another, oh my brother — how did you survive! This is what I think about, always thought, always worried, I’m so sorry, I’m to blame, I know all that. How can you survive all alone, and how about that one true home? Lend me a hand, will you, help me understand. They’re coming!
When no-one saw what was clear as day, every day, I’m simply wired that way, I alone would love that place. I know — and no I didn’t and I know how you think, so don’t, and please, I won’t, but I know, of course, I do, I said, I did what, you did — no and no, and no. Do you know, how can you, when you have none, what it means to have children. I will not be a friend. I will not stop, I will not put and end to this, until the world has heard this one and only truth. I will be granted that, but not for myself, I couldn’t care less, it is the under-evolved that need this work, those that suffice and suffocate with — now I see it! Of course, it is here. This alone will make it clear:
Have you been made aware of where every particle in every motion started when every character with every emotion came to life and began to lie? Get ready, and you should not be catered to, because there are those that dream and those that do. But in every situation on every level down to the particles that made that time, and even if you cannot believe, it will be so, that time alone will grow our parts. What scars! What scars will mean once all is clear, and after this analysis no more fear. I told you so: the brain was gone, there was no-one home. This much is abundantly clear; this my darling, this my dear. You should not blame yourself, these things in life they come and go, and says the scientist, says the doctor, says the research from a place much higher. There on the page lies a simple truth, nothing proven, only fact, anyone can see behind the stupidest act.
Then what, dear sis, is it you want to say? I see the mouth moving, but still not sure how much it is proving. While time’s a-wastin’ those lips keep tasting. You push aside a gentler way, since you weren’t given one anyway, and you were left and so abandoned, and cycle now will find its home. First of all — no. Mark these words, if you dare. I do not care, all alone, as I said, and now this story comes to end. You cannot hear, you will not see, but we who care will not remain still, when so much is wrong and should be fought. Stupidity will not rule, nor fear, nor terror. Those are truths of the past you bought, my dear. Inconvenient a woman is speaking, I know, but one must rise, one must try; and angry ones, upset dears, will come for me to take me down. They’re here! Perhaps I’ll go, perhaps I won’t, but you will not find this lady hiding, and in a house, and in a talk, in every particle and every thing, in immobility down to the bone, she will be saying what she’ll be saying,
and still I’m saying,
and of course I’m saying,
but hey —
where is the attention you should be paying?
KULTTUURIESSEET 